Lord, Who Am I?

The Faithfulness of God’s Forgiveness, Love, Mercy and Grace is So Amazing.

God said, “What I told you I will do. You can count on it. You can put it in the bank. That what I promised you I will do. And He said, no matter what it seems like on the outside, it’s beautiful on the inside.” TMV (tonymenge version)

2 Corinthians 5:17 KJV
Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new.

Could I ask a small favor of you before you continue to read as I share about an important event in my walk with God? Would you be so kind as to listen to this song first? It will all make sense in the end.

Lord, who am I
Compared to Your glory?
Lord, who am I
Compared to Your majesty?
Cause I’m your beloved,
Your creation,
And You love me as I am.
You’ve called me, chosen
For Your kingdom.
Unashamed to call me your own-
I’m your beloved.

I’m working nights this week, 6pm to 6am, running a crew boat in south Louisiana. Wednesday morning I had to go home, take a bath and get cleaned up for a one on one meeting at 9am with a representative from the new company that has bought the oil field where I work.

As I was shaving in the bathroom mirror a thought came, then was followed by an overwhelming feeling of Gods Love and Faithfulness then some tears, the good kind. The thought was of an event that happened almost three years ago similar to this one. I was working nights at that time too and was in the bathroom grooming myself for an important 10 or 11am meeting. A much more important meeting than with a future supervisor. I had requested an audience with the King of Kings and Lord of Lords.

There was an awesome presence of God on the 40 minute drive back to work to meet with my new supervisor. I replayed the events from my memory and thanked God for that day a few years ago. Tears of Joy and Love and Security and having “Peace With God” just flowed so freely. I had to compose myself as I got near our office. What would they think if they saw me like this, all teary-eyed.

It’s important to never forget the words and things God does for us on a personal level. Reading that “God So Loved The World” is one thing. Realizing God’s Love for you as an individual person will truly change your world and heart if you desire it and let it.

When I first became a “Born Again with God’s Spirit” Christian in 1993, I received a hunger for worship & praise music and bible preaching. I forget if it was Charles Stanley or James Dobson that said, “you need to write your own bible.” It’s not copying the Holy Bible, rather it’s remembering and recording the personal things God does in your life. It’s for when life gets uncertain, or hard and you are going through tough times of testing and waiting for God to answer your prayers. When those times comes you can do like the Israelites did. Looking in their Bible to bolster their Faith, remembering what God had done in the past, to believe God can “Do it again.”

About 2014 I noticed patterns of dates in the Bible that kept repeating themselves for a similar type of event. Like on the 9th day of the Hebrew calendars 11th month Av, their 911. It defies the odds of random chance that so many horrible things kept happening to Israel on that day over thousands of years. Or the 17th day of their Hebrew calendars 1st month, Nisan. So many wonderful things happened to Israel and for us on that day over thousands of years. It’s the Feast of Firstfruits, Jesus’ resurrection day!!

I researched many reoccurring events on their calendar off and on over a couple years then compiled them on a single word document to categorize them here. (I updated it to 2019 dates in a hurry today. I think they are correct). I felt like I had accomplished something important the night I finished this document. It was Monday night April 11th 2016,  I would start my 14 day work shift working nights, 6pm to 6am, running a crew boat Tuesday night.

I thought of sharing it with someone I didn’t know very well that had spent their lifetime serving God preaching and teaching God’s Word. Not just a teacher in a church but a teacher in a Bible college. I thought, how arrogant would it seem if I approached this person and say, “I did this research and I want to show you what I learned.”

That night, Monday April 11th I laid out a fleece before God for how to proceed like Gideon did.

I prayed to God asking Him that on Sunday April 17th, if Bishop Drew would single me out personally during the service and speak words from God to me and only me, I’d have God’s approval to proceed. Then I could ask this person if he wanted to see what I found. Even though I had worked Saturday night, I went to church that Sunday the 17th with the expectation that God would keep this appointment with me.

I remember that as I was grooming myself, getting dressed and ready for church I paid extra attention to the little things that normally I didn’t worry much about. I truly though, “today I have an appointment, almost face to face with God.” I need to look my best.

On the drive to church it felt almost like when I had to appear in court to give testimony before a judge. The anticipation of what might happen was so strong.

Of all the things Bishop Drew could have preached a message about he chose “Momentum.” It was what I wrote in the beginning of this blog, like writing your own Bible. Remembering the things you know for certain where God intervened in your life to do things or answered specific prayers in the specific way you were asking. Remembering those events over a lifetime works to build Faith in God that He’s come through before, He will come through for this need again.

Bishop Drew taught that if we have the “Vision” for something. Put forth some “Effort” towards the Vision. When it comes to pass, it builds more “Confidence” that God will come through again next time. Each time this happens, “Momentum” to Trust, Believe and have more Faith in God grows more and more. Each “Victory” brings you closer to the next “Victory.”

The original Livestream link to “Momentum” is here. I uploaded the full video sermon to my Youtube page here to make access to it easier.

Bishop Drew had an altar call at the end of his preaching as he often does. It was for if you wanted to ask God for more “Spiritual Momentum.” As often happens, the altar area packed out with people stepping out to draw nearer to God.

As me and my wife got to the altar Bishop Drew walked down from the platform saying,


“The Lord’s lighting you up to me today” and walks towards me and my wife but stops and speaks to a woman standing right in front of us. So close, and yet not the words for me I was hoping for.

After speaking words to her, Bishop Drew returned to the platform speaking words of encouragement to us again. Then Bishop Drew walked off the platform again to my far left and tells a man, “that’s what I want for you, brother, that’s what God wants for you.” Bishop Drew speaks words of encouragement to him ending them saying, “God’s putting a brand new heart in you today.”

Bishop Drew returns to the platform again and asks everyone to lift their hands up to the Lord. He recaps what his sermon has been about and it appears as though the service is drawing to a close. He says, “your Vision has to be something Spiritual, what can God do?” THEN HE SAYS, “I’ve got a word for this man right here” and walks DOWN TO ME!!! He doesn’t even know my name at this time. It wasn’t that long we had started going to church there.

If you want to see this happen as I just described, and hear the words Bishop Drew spoke “face to face” to me from God, this 9 minute clip of it is below.

If you read My Testimony here, there is a part that says I believe God sent His Angel of Repentance and Hope to me who’s name is Phanuel. It is also spelled, Peniel or Penuel (Strongs H6439) and means “face of God”

Genesis 32:29-31 KJV
29 And Jacob asked him , and said, Tell me , I pray thee, thy name. And he said, Wherefore is it that thou dost ask after my name? And he blessed him there. 30 And Jacob called the name of the place Peniel: for I have seen God face to face, and my life is preserved. 31 And as he passed over Penuel the sun rose upon him, and he halted upon his thigh.

If you read My Testimony, you might even wonder how or why would God do such things for someone who was such a backslider at one point as a Christian. I believe it’s because if you ask God for the “Right Things” first, the “Other things” will follow. I had asked for a new heart, actually I begged and pleaded for months until He gave me a heart that could truly love Him back as He loves me. Not that I can really do that but I try. I still haven’t fathomed the depths of God’s Love, it’s So Amazing!!

I believe God sent His Angel of Repentance and Hope to show me my sins the way God sees them. Some things about sin has never changed in almost 6,000 years. God hates sin, always has and always will. Our willful, premeditiated sins will make us hide from God the way Adam and Eve did for their very first sin. Satan, the accuser will remind you and God of your willful sins when you pray and cause you to doubt God will grant your request.

The worst thing about our sins is that they are against God,

Psalm 51:4 KJV
Against thee, thee only, have I sinned, and done this evil in thy sight: that thou mightest be justified when thou speakest, and be clear when thou judgest.

But if we don’t harden our heart and respond rightly when God sends the Holy Spirit or the Angel of Repentance and Hope our way He will hear and answer this prayer.

Psalm 51:9-11 KJV
9 Hide thy face from my sins, and blot out all mine iniquities. 10 Create in me a clean heart, O God; and renew a right spirit within me. 11 Cast me not away from thy presence; and take not thy holy spirit from me.

After God restores fellowship between us and Him and puts away our sins so the enemy can’t use them against our prayer life, this happens,

Psalm 51:12-13 KJVS
12 Restore unto me the joy of thy salvation; and uphold me with thy free spirit. 13 Then will I teach transgressors thy ways; and sinners shall be converted unto thee.

God doesn’t want your money or need you talents. You can’t do enough to earn His Forgivness or Favor or Mercy or Grace. God wants only one thing from you. Without it, it’s a deal breaker. God wants your heart, all of it.

Psalm 51:16-17 KJV
16 For thou desirest not sacrifice; else would I give it : thou delightest not in burnt offering. 17 The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit: a broken and a contrite heart, O God, thou wilt not despise.

Give God your heart. You will never regret it. He will then fill it with a love you never thought possible and you’ll experience a love like you never thought was possible.

I don’t know what my future holds at my job when the new owner takes over next week but I Do Know Who Holds My Future. His Word and the things I experience as I walk with Him tell me, I’m His Beloved.

Lord, Who Am I?

Psalm 8:3-6 KJV
3 When I consider thy heavens, the work of thy fingers, the moon and the stars, which thou hast ordained; 4 What is man, that thou art mindful of him? and the son of man, that thou visitest him? 5 For thou hast made him a little lower than the angels, and hast crowned him with glory and honour. 6 Thou madest him to have dominion over the works of thy hands; thou hast put all things under his feet:

Bishop Drew’s words to me that day was, “God said, What I told you I will do. You can count on it. You can put it in the bank. That what I promised you I will do. And He said, no matter what it seems like on the outside, it’s beautiful on the inside.” TMV

2 Corinthians 5:17 KJVS
Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new.

Lord, who am I
Compared to Your glory?
Lord, who am I
Compared to Your majesty?
‘Cause I’m your beloved,
Your creation,
And You love me as I am.
You’ve called me, chosen
For Your kingdom.
Unashamed to call me your own-
I’m your beloved.

One thought on “Lord, Who Am I?

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